My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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