as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
