The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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