I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
