I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
