You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.