Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
