I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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