the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
