are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
