Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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