That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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