well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
