Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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