just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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