he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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