How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
