allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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