That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
