I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
