can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
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I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
soo... how was my night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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