ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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