Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
