I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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