Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
