Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
