no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
