STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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