Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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