if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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