We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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