I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
