It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
