You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
