Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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