Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm getting married
To pizza
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
