we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
