yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
