Already got asked if we're dating
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
