That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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