Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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