Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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