After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
