Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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