What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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