Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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