You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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