I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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