when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize