got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
