So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
