He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
