the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
