awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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