I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
don't judge my taste in strippers
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
