my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
