I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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