it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
