I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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